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Page 5

“Now, I suggest you discuss your unauthorized drug use with your primary doctor,” Nancy suggested.

  “Who do you think is providing me with the valium? Don’t look so shocked Nancy. I’m quite sure you do something not authorized, like smoke reefer.”

  “Who’s the psychiatrist, and who’s the patient Mrs. Manners? Our contract is a month away from expiring. Before our union comes to an end, I would like to see you more cohesive and stable. You’re fidgeting. Have you had a manic episode lately?”

  “I have,” Gwyneth said, rising from off the couch.

  She didn’t realize she was fidgeting until Nancy informed her. Gwyneth wanted to tell the psychiatrist that the lithium kept her less excitable, but also stunted her sexual appetite, and the valium made her pussy moist.

  “I had one this morning,” she answered, thinking.

  “How severe was it?” The doctor asked.

  “Severe enough to scare the household help, I broke a very expensive vase I purchased from Tiffany’s. And I completely ruined the living room in a fit of rage,” Gwyneth said, sounding as if she was proud of her actions. “I feel much better now. I was so stressed over my husband.”

  “I bet,” Nancy stated mildly. “How’s your daughter?”

  “Simply wonderful, her father came over this morning, and picked her up. She should be back with the nanny by now.”

  “Did you have the manic attack before or after Markus came over?” the psychiatrist asked.

  “After,” Gwyneth said, bending down and grabbing her jacket. The skirt was so small Nancy saw everything. Gwyneth turned around and gave Nancy a wicked smile. “Isn’t my daughter’s daddy a fuckable looking thing, so beautiful, young, black and strong? Did I mention that his dick is really big?”

  “No, I’m afraid you didn’t. Please Mrs. Manners cease taking the valium, and continue to take the drug I prescribed for you.”

  “I’ll consider it,” Gwyneth answered.

  Gwyneth was almost at the door when Nancy said, “One more thing before you go. Markus Johnson is so young, I believe he’s twenty and your daughter is six going on seven.”

  “And…?” Gwyneth said.

  “And that would mean you were sleeping with a thirteen or fourteen year old boy.”

  “I guess you’re right. I never bothered to calculate things. I see why you graduated with honors Dr. Adler. See you next week.”

  “Yes, next week.” she said, none too pleasantly.

  09

  Nancy had one other patient after Gwyneth Manners left. That session was over at eight. Nancy dismissed her secretary and turned off the lights. In the elevator going down to the lobby, she thought about Gwyneth Manners. There was one other person riding to the lobby with her. Her office was located in a skyscraper in midtown Manhattan and most of the other businesses in the building were closed hours ago.

  She stepped out the elevator and into the lobby. She was about to ask the doorman to hail her a cab when her cell phone rang. The psychiatrist looked at the caller ID and didn’t recognize the number.

  “Hello,” she said with uncertainty.

  “Dr. Adler, did I call you at the wrong time?”

  At first she didn’t recognize the voice then she blushed. Mr. Excitement didn’t speak much in his movies. It was just a lot of moaning and groaning.

  “It’s Markus…”

  “Markus, please, call me Nancy,” she sighed. “You didn’t catch me at the wrong time. I’m just leaving the office. How did you get my cell phone number?”

  “It’s on your business card. I called your office. No one answered.” Markus took a deep breath. “Listen I’ll see you next Monday…”

  “No,” Nancy said. Her voice lightened as she continued. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “I’m not. I must have blacked out five or six times since I last saw you. I even blacked out in the car on my way home that same day.”

  “My God…!” She exclaimed.

  “I know why I’m blacking out. It’s this woman. I keep thinking about her and seeing her. Because of her, I’m blacking out.”

  “What about the flashbacks?” She queried.

  “They are more distinctive, clearer. There is another person in the picture. Ithink I was kidnapped when I was younger,” Markus said.

  He had been thinking about things for quite some time. So many things were going down and transpired since the first session and he couldn’t wait. He had to speak to Nancy Adler.

  “I blacked out in front of Emily.”

  “Your daughter…?” the psychiatrist asked softly. “Is she okay? Are you okay?”

  “Yes and no. Damn! I don’t really know. It scared Emily but I think she’s okay. I told her daddy was sick. She thinks Mr. Manners is her daddy also. So when she said, I know daddy’s sick, I didn’t know who she meant. My life is so fucking screwed up.”

  “Where are you?” Nancy asked.

  Nancy was completely intrigued by Markus Johnson. He sparked her interest a thousand fold.

  “I’m at a bar about to get drunk, and do something stupid.”

  Markus sound so defeated that Nancy was sure his affliction was getting the best of him.

  “Where is the bar?”

  “Brooklyn, it’s in the ghetto,” he laughed.

  “Does the ghetto have an address?” She asked sarcastically.

  “It does, but I’m not home though you can meet me where I am. You did ask because you want to meet me, right?”

  “You sound self-destructive, and I want to know more. I want to help you. Your situation is more peculiar than you think.”

  “Okay,” Markus said, giving her the address.

  “Besides, I do nothing at night, but watch sitcom reruns. I’m sure your company will be more interesting than that,” Nancy said, sounding sincere.

  When she arrived at the address Markus had given, Nancy was very tempted to hop back inside the cab and go directly home. It was truly ghetto. She rarely frequented Brooklyn, and when she did it wasn’t where Markus wanted her to meet him.

  She paid the cab driver, and the cab sped off. Nancy was left standing on a street corner in very grimy area. Across from her was a housing project. Young, black males stared at her and she held on tighter to her Louie Vuitton purse. Markus was with a group of black males. It was dark but she recognized him. He spotted her. Leaving the group behind, he walked toward her. Nancy smiled. He smiled back.

  “You are such a brave little vixen.”

  Members of his clique all knew what Markus did for a living and they would assume she was a porno bitch. Nancy was dressed conservatively, wearing a trendy red trench coat; it was open, exposing her black skirt suit and white shirt. Markus could tell she was uncomfortable.

  “This isn’t the sort of place for a woman like you,” he smiled.

  “What sort of woman am I, Markus, a white one?” She sassed.

  “Yeah,” he said. “I think you are white.” They both grinned. “I was figuring this ain’t your type of environment.”

  “It might not be but I’m here,” she said. “You’re here so I’m safe, right?”

  “Shit, you were safe even if I wasn’t here,” Markus smiled but he was unsure of his own words.

  Markus lived in a tough neighborhood. He looked behind him and saw the guys on the corner grilling them. He knew they were scheming on the white dame in their neck of the hood. Markus decided to scramble before they felt curious enough to approach them.

  “My car is around the corner,” he said, taking her arm and guiding her toward his vehicle.

  “Where are we going?” She asked once he opened the door for her and rushed to the driver’s side. Markus had a nice Lexus. She wondered why he lived in this particular neighborhood.

  “Do you like Japanese?” He asked before turning on the engine.

  “I like the food but not the men,” Nancy laughed.

  “Why not the men,” he said, looking at her with a wicked grin. “Is it because of how small t
heir dicks are?”

  “We all know how big you are Markus. Gwyneth told me. No…?” She chuckled. “I used to date a Japanese guy when I was in college. The relationship didn’t go well. He wanted me to dress up like a geisha and it wasn’t Halloween. That was way too kinky for me.”

  Markus laughed but inside he felt little humor. The relationship he had with Gwyneth wasn’t anything he found humorous. Gwyneth was the sort of person who would describe how big his dick was in great detail.

  Nancy didn’t know how hurt he was from what she said. He shrugged his shoulders and began driving. She would never even think something like that would affect a man who fucked women on camera for a living.

  Nancy knew something she said disturbed him. His mood had changed and he was silent and seemed distant for a great deal of their trip. Markus turned on the radio. They were listening to a classic rock radio station, and Nancy was shocked to hear Markus singing along with Queen.

  “You have good taste in music,” she said, singing along with him.

  “You have good taste in the company you choose,” Markus said before he switched the radio station. Rap music was thumping.

  Markus was shocked when he heard Nancy utter, “You’re a window shopper…” She sang along with the song and she knew the lyrics. Dr. Nancy Adler was a fan of Fifty Cent. Markus didn’t see that coming.

  10

  They went to a quaint Japanese place in Brooklyn Heights. Markus watched Nancy who was studying him. The waitress was standing before them, waiting to take their order. Markus ordered the chicken teriyaki, and Nancy had an assortment of sushi. They agreed on the wine. The waitress came with an already uncorked and chilled bottle of rose and two wine glasses. Markus poured the Vino.

  Nancy was still trying to figure out why she decided to meet Markus. He was obviously going through all forms of stuff. She decided to break the ice.

  “Gwyneth is a very interesting person. You were introduced to her at a very young age.”

  Markus knew Nancy was expecting him to tell her something, something he didn’t want to discuss. She was his shrink. He told her things he only told Tanisha.

  “Gwyneth used to pick up male prostitutes, take them home, and fuck them in front of her husband. He got his jollies watching young men fuck his wife.”

  “Oh my,” she uttered.

  “Yeah, he’s old and impotent. She took me off the streets. I had already been out on the street for about six months or so. I was hungry and dirty, with not a lot of options. She took me to her three story penthouse apartment, the one overlooking Central Park, cleaned and fed me. I wasn’t sure at first, Gwyneth wasn’t a bad looking woman and they clothed me, sheltered me and gave me money. I stayed that night and never left till I was eighteen.”

  “Oh,” Nancy said, looking shocked. “So, you would have sexual relations with Gwyneth in front of Mr. Manners. That sounds really sick.”

  “I was young. I had nothing. I never knew much about anything…if you get my meaning. Shit, I don’t even remember how I ended up in the orphanage. Sleeping with Gwyneth was better than being on the streets, and sleeping on park benches. Mr. Manners hired a tutor to educate me,” Markus said, giving Nancy a wide grin. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re wondering why I speak as well as I do.”

  “How do you get along in life without an identity? Do you have a driver’s license or any other form of ID?”

  “Yes, a friend of mine, Tanisha, knows a person who can get a fake license, birth certificate, or whatever you want. While I was with Gwyneth and her husband I was more like a sex slave, a prisoner. I didn’t get out much.”

  “Sickening,” Nancy said in disgust.

  “If it wasn’t for them, I don’t know where I would be now.”

  Apprehension set in and Markus seemed like he didn’t want to continue. Nancy reached over the table and touched his hand lightly. He looked at her soft eyes and continued speaking.

  “She used to give me to some of her friends. These women would take me for a day, a night, and I would do things with them, sexual shit. Fuck them, eat their pussies. They paid me. They were all older women, some of them were good looking but most of them were horrible looking.”

  “You’ve lived a rather bizarre life.”

  She didn’t know what else to say. The conversation they were having was disturbing. She was already on her second glass of wine. Markus wasn’t drinking anything.

  “Your daughter, Emily…”

  “I don’t wanna talk about Emily. She’s the only good thing I have. She’s the best part of me,” he said, cutting her inquiry short.

  “Okay,” she said feebly. “I understand.”

  “I wanna talk about my flashbacks, and about this woman. This woman I keep thinking about.”

  “The woman who initially triggered the reemerging memories or flashbacks, you encountered her again. Where did you see her?”

  “I saw here first in a restaurant in Times Square. I had just come from filming a scene. She was sitting at a table with some other people. I took one look at her and began seeing things, those two people…”

  “Your parents,” she interjected.

  “Possibly, I saw the little girl also. It seemed like the same thing every time. The flashback continued. I was being yanked away from them, like I told you before, but this time I got a look at the person who was taking me away.”

  “What did this person look like?” She probed.

  “He was a white man, an old man. He had a beard. I remember that, and he had a mean looking face. I was scared of him. I didn’t wanna go wherever he was dragging me off to. The people were waving goodbye. At first I thought I was being kidnapped. Now I’m not so sure. If those people I saw were my parents, why would they be waving while I was being kidnapped?”

  “I’m not sure, Markus. I know this hypnotist who could…”

  “No hypnosis,” he said with a touch of anger. “No hypnosis. Haven’t we gone over this before?”

  “Just once,” she said with a stern voice. She softened up immediately. “I’m only trying to help. Why do you think I’m here?”

  “Because you like Japanese food,” he smirked. “Because Gwyneth said my dick is big,” he said and Nancy blushed then frowned. “Sorry,” he said with sincerity.

  “Gwyneth didn’t have to tell me about your anatomy. I purchased a couple of your movies.”

  “Oh did you…? What do you think about them?”

  “What is there to think? I watched the movies. I’ve seen pornography before. What made you get into this line of work?”

  “I guess Gwyneth is responsible. One of her friend’s had connections in the porn biz. After doing things with these women, I’d talk with them. Nancy, you know what?”

  “What Markus?”

  “Sex always seemed second nature to me. It’s like I’ve done it before. And I’m not talking about fucking. I mean like I’ve been in front of the camera before. When I went to Brazil to do a film, I could have sworn I’d been there before. Like when I was younger, much younger.”

  “That’s interesting, Markus. Maybe you have. So much of your life is a big void. What you mentioned about sex being second nature to you is intriguing.” She paused.

  The waitress came with the food. When the waitress left, she continued. “I know this hypnotist…” Markus grimaced. She laughed.

  They ate and talked. Nancy guided the conversation while they ate, chatting to him about herself for a while.

  “This woman, the one that triggers the flashbacks and the black outs, describe her to me.”

  “She is complete and utter perfection.” Markus felt lightheaded thinking about her. “Funny as it may seem, I haven’t gotten a good look at her…”

  “Because you are always in La-La-Land directly after an encounter,” Nancy said, smiling.

  Markus laughed. “I have her phone number. I haven’t used it yet. Should I?” He asked the shrink.

  “Of course you should, but only when you ar
e ready. What do you think she will have to say?”

  “I don’t know.” He was silent for a moment. “Do you think I blacked out from some longing for her? I never felt for a person the way I feel for her.”

  “Markus, my love,” she said in a playful manner. “You don’t even know this woman. How could you possibly feel anything? Maybe you do know her.”

  “That’s what I’m thinking. But my friend, Tanisha, assured me Michelle said she never saw me before.”

  “Michelle, is that her name? I would like to meet this woman who you find so alluring. You’ve been with hundreds. What is physical sex when compared to the emotions and mentality involved in loving someone?”

  Nancy thought about what she said then giggled. She was beginning to sound like a silly schoolgirl on a first date. She had drunk the whole bottle of wine. Markus had not taken a sip from his glass. “Are you trying to get me drunk?” She laughed.

  “I don’t have to try. It seems like you’re getting drunk all by yourself.”

  “Let me drive you home,” Markus offered when they walked out the restaurant.

  “Tempting,” she said, giving him her best rendition of a seductive look. “I’ll catch a cab. We must keep this relationship professional.”

  “Of course,” he said.

  It was late and there were few cars moving through the streets. A yellow cab pulled up after he whistled it down. He opened the door. She slipped into the cab. Markus kissed her on the lips before shutting the door. She was caught completely off guard, but that didn’t stop her from closing her eyes, and allowing herself to get lost within the act of the kiss.

  “Remember sex is my profession, Dr. Adler. So indulging me will be keeping it professional in any event,” he smiled and the cab drove off.

  11

  Markus was singing along with the radio while driving back home. He had a very nice time with Nancy. She was a good listener, but she was a psychiatrist. Her job was to listen. Markus wasn’t on the time clock while they were talking. He figured they had gone out on a date, it wasn’t a session. Or was it? He wasn’t sure. He was physically attracted to her. He decided to tie the euphoria he was feeling to that, and nothing more. He parked the Lexus and strolled to his residence.