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  Rayne’s body had thickened in all the right places. Men looked at her more than ever. She felt prettier than before. Rayne was horny. She hadn’t been with a man in more than a year.

  When the bus pulled into the port authority Rayne had the biggest grin. She missed New York. She walked around the streets of Manhattan. Snow was on the ground and just as soon as she hailed a cab it began to lightly snow. She loved the winter and enjoyed the snow.

  “Twenty-three forty-five University Avenue in the Bronx,” Rayne said to the cab driver.

  She looked outside the window, at the city she hadn’t seen in some time. Nothing seemed to have changed. Besides the obvious physical transformation, Rayne wasn’t sure what other changes she made but she felt different.

  On her way to the Bronx she thought about getting her GED and furthering her education in college. She’d read a lot of books during her stay in the mental facility. Rayne realized Trevor had taken more things from her life than he’d provided. There was a whole world out there. She read about it and wanted to experience it. Rayne was scared since she had no experience. She felt all she could do was swing a blade, rob and strip, in any order.

  When Rayne reached her destination, she paid the cab driver and hopped out the cab. She should’ve just rented a hotel room but Rayne didn’t have much money. Sabrina, Bernadette and Dora Dean had been her family. They used to feed themselves on robbing drug dealers.

  “Rayne,” she heard her name.

  She turned around, didn’t recognize the man at first. He was halfway down the block when he yelled her name. He came running towards her. She knew who he was.

  “Angel…”

  She remembered him. Angel was a very cool guy, handsome, always kept a job and stayed out of trouble. “I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

  “How have you been?” He asked.

  Angel graduated from high school and went to college in Albany to study auto mechanics. He returned home in the Bronx and started working at a garage. He had always been cute.

  “Good and bad,” she said. “You look good.”

  “So do you,” he said giving her the once over. “You gained some weight and in the right places,” Angel smiled. “I heard that you killed three people out in Philly and they had you locked up in a mental institution.”

  “It wasn’t like that but that’s how people talk.” Rayne laughed and changed the subject quick. “I’m thinking about going back to school. You know how I’ve been running around and not doing anything but getting into trouble.”

  Angel ran a few of his fingers through his curly hair. Rayne was very attracted to Angel. His actions caused sexual fantasies to course through her horny mind.

  “You were always getting into something Rayne. I heard you were robbing banks or something like that. This dude up on Fordham said you set one of his peoples up. He said you and some girls took his money and his drugs, ran up on him with masks on and guns.”

  “You can’t believe everything you hear?” Rayne’s street instinct immediately kicked in. “Who did you hear all that shit from, anyway?”

  Angel eyed her curiously and answered. “I’d rather not say. I heard ‘bout that shit a year ago.”

  “I ain’t the girl I was a year ago.” Rayne wasn’t sure if she was telling Angel the truth. She didn’t know who she was anymore. “What have you been up to?”

  “Work… I ah just bought a house and ah… thinking of getting married.”

  “Really,” Rayne sounding disappointed. “I remember playing run, catch and kiss with you when we were younger. Have you learned how to kiss yet?”

  Angel laughed. “I think so... I’ve been told… Ah where are you headed, upstairs to your mom’s?” He asked looking up at the building.

  “Yeah, but I ain’t gonna stay long. I don’t wanna stay here. I don’t like being around the neighborhood. I’m looking to change up and do something different.” Rayne thought about something then asked, “Have you seen Bernadette around?”

  “Bernie,” Angel said reflecting. “I forgot how close you two ah… were.”

  “Not that close,” Rayne said with cynicism.

  Angel knew what Rayne was talking about and laughed.

  “I know you don’t get down like that.” Angel said smiling.

  He was pleased with the way Rayne looked. She could tell by the way he licked his lips. “You really look good, Rayne. You’ve been taking care of yourself.”

  “Finally right,” she said displaying herself to him with a spin. “I ain’t stripping no more and I ain’t messing with no dumb niggas. I wanna just get a fresh start. I don’t wanna be around a place where rumors are being spread about me, you know?”

  “I understand,” Angel said. He thought about something. “Bernie works at this bar in Manhattan. She’s a bouncer there.”

  Rayne laughed. “Are you serious Angel?” Rayne kept laughing nearly crying in the process. Angel gave her the location and the name of the bar. She said. “I know you said something about marriage but I don’t really have many friends. I’ve deaden whatever I had a year ago.”

  Rayne thought about what she had said and wondered if it was a lie. Her pussy was quivering. Being close to a hot-looking man aroused her. She wasn’t sure what he thought of her. Rayne was confident she was looking good. She could tell Angel was feeling her from the way he was eyeing her.

  “I wanna go see Bernadette but I don’t wanna go anywhere alone,” she offered.

  “It’s still early, Rayne,” he said. “I gotta go to work in a couple of hours.”

  “I’m not talking about right now,” Rayne laughed. “How about later on today, does she work at night?”

  “She does.”

  “Would you mind accompanying me to the bar?” Rayne asked as sweetly as she could. Before Angel could answer she asked. “Are you engaged or something?”

  “No, but I got a girlfriend,” he said shyly.

  “Maybe you need a woman and not a girl who is a friend,” Rayne said with sass.

  “She’s a woman,” he laughed.

  “So am I,” she said boldly.

  “I see that you are.” Angel’s cell phone rang. He reached inside a pocket and looked but didn’t answer it. “Here.” He pulled out his wallet and gave Rayne a business card. “My cell number, call me tonight. My garage isn’t too far from here.”

  “Your garage…?” Rayne asked sounding impressed.

  “I’m trying, Rayne. Look I gotta go. I guess you’ll call me later?”

  “I sure will, Angel. It was good seeing you. And it’ll be better seeing you later,” Rayne said.

  They both smiled. Angel walked away.

  She watched him hop inside a beautiful BMW. Rayne stood in the front of her building watching. A sigh escape her when Angel was gone.

  Rayne realized that she’d been nervous talking to Angel. He had gotten closer to the real Rayne than any other man had gotten in a long time. Most men just got the fabricated Rayne, the actress, the spot rusher. The Fatal Four would seduce drug dealers, becoming their play things. Angel’s car reminded her of a drug dealer’s.

  Once Dora Dean and Rayne had tag-teamed a huge dealer, Hooey Jameson, down in St. Louis. They used to sleep with him at the same time. He loved women and once urged them to eat each other. Rayne didn’t wanna do it but Dora pulled her aside and said, “Listen we gotta do this. We here to earn his trust…” It sounded right to Rayne but she knew Dora was attracted to her and just wanted to get between her legs. Dora was such a sexual being.

  They murdered that dude in St. Louis. He didn’t give up his money and jewelry without a fight. If it weren’t for how manly and strong Bernadette was Rayne wasn’t sure of how things would have turned out. Their situation with Hooey Jameson was a close call. Steve Stunner was a tragedy.

  “Rayne…”

  She heard her name being called. Rayne looked and grimaced. She definitely didn’t want to speak with the person. Rayne quickly ran right inside the building.r />
  eight

  Rayne knocked on the door. Her father answered. Rayne instantly got scared and angry. The two emotions she always felt whenever she was around him.

  “Hey,” he greeted with delight. “It’s my little girl.” He reached out to hug her.

  “Fuck off,” Rayne said pushing through the door past him.

  Rayne didn’t even look at him. She dared not. She was afraid of what she’d do if he touched her again. She might let him strip her, bend her over and fuck her like he used to do. Maybe she’d beat him to death. She had killed a man before. Her father was a weak man, had always been. The heroin had left him in terrible shape and the methadone had depleted him of all his strength. Even so, he was still the monster she’d grown to fear and loath.

  Walking into the apartment had Rayne thinking back to when she was 13 years old. She was home from school and her mother wasn’t there. Her mother worked two jobs and was hardly home. Her father never worked. He’d suffered an injury in the military and used that as his excuse for not working again. He didn’t even take out the garbage.

  When Rayne got home from school she would sometimes go to her room and he’d be there waiting for her. He would order Rayne to get naked or slowly stripped her. He would then force her to lie on her stomach. He’d put a pillow over her head and fucked her from behind until he was good. Sometimes it didn’t last longer than a minute, but there were times when the assault would go on for a half hour.

  Afterwards Rayne would run to the bathroom and take a bath. She endured that treatment since twelve years old until she left at fifteen. Rayne told her mother but her mother chose not to believe Rayne or her sister, Riley.

  Her father was a very handsome and charismatic man with a twinkle in his eyes before he left for Desert Storm. After the war, she wondered why her mother tolerated him. Rayne had no idea of how old he was but knew her mother came from Puerto Rico when she was thirteen. By the time her mother was fifteen years old her father had already impregnated her. Rayne hated both her parents. The smell of alcohol was on her mother’s breath when she greeted her. Rayne pushed out of the hug.

  “It’s the same shit.” Rayne said to her. “No wonder I’m so fucked up.”

  Rayne went straight to what was once her and her sister’s room. When she opened the door she was shocked to find Riley sitting on the bed they used to share.

  “My fucking God,” Rayne exclaimed with surprise and delight. “Riley!”

  She hadn’t seen her sister in over three years. Riley had gotten married when she was eighteen and moved to Florida. Her husband was a good looking military man. He wasn’t like their father.

  “Pee-Wee,” Riley shouted. She hopped off the bed and gave Rayne a big hug.

  The sisters held each other while crying then laughed. Riley took a good look at her younger sister.

  “You look good Pee-Wee. You gained mad weight. When I saw you last you looked anorexic.”

  “I know Riley,” Rayne began crying again. “I’ve been through so much shit. I hated you for leaving me here to deal with all this shit. But you were smart to leave.”

  “I didn’t want to but I had no choice.” Riley began crying again. “I don’t wanna talk about what used to be. Mother told me you were coming home today and I took the first flight I could to New York. I arrived yesterday. I want you to come to Florida and live with me.”

  Rayne stared at her sister. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. All she’d known was what Trevor told her and what Sabrina suggested. Bernadette also gave her advice. Only Dora Dean, who was just as screwed up as Rayne, didn’t. Dora had been raped more times than Rayne and Riley combined.

  Dora once told Rayne she was fucked by ten men, one after the other. Rayne had cried while Dora was telling the story. Dora described it in great, bitter detail, down to how her ass leaked blood for weeks after.

  Dora used to fuck around with a drug dealer. She was living with him and one day rivals broke down the door to his project apartment looking for him. They didn’t find him. They kidnapped Dora, blindfolded her, raped and assaulted her for weeks. They did it repeatedly until Dora was almost dead. She was only sixteen.

  That was the reason Dora didn’t care about her body, Rayne thought. Dora used to do most of the dirty work for the Fatal Four. She was the one who would seduce the men, let them fuck her while winning their trust. Rayne began crying again. Thoughts of Dora made her emotional. Dora had endured so much, thought Rayne. I’m gonna avenge your death.

  “I can’t go to Florida,” Rayne said.

  Rayne saw a diamond ring on her wedding finger and the wedding band. She wished she had met a man like Riley’s husband. Before Riley could say anything else their father walked into the room.

  Rayne jumped on her father. He couldn’t even defend himself. Riley screamed.

  “No,” she pleaded as Rayne began beating him with her fists. “Don’t do it, he’s not worth it.”

  Rayne knew he wasn’t but that didn’t stop her from beating him. Rayne lifted his body up by the little hair on top of his head and shoved his head into a bedroom window. His head didn’t go through, the glass didn’t break. Rayne opened the window up.

  “Let’s see if you can fly motherfucker,” Rayne yelled. “Didn’t you used to tell people you were an Air Force pilot you fucking liar.”

  Riley and their mother held Rayne, trying to stop her from throwing her father out of the window. Rayne looked over at her mother like she was gonna beat her ass as well.

  “Please!” Riley screamed and dropped to her knees crying her lungs out. That was the only thing that caused Rayne to simmer down.

  “I can’t stay here.” Rayne said to no one. “I hate all of you.”

  Rayne angrily walked out the door.

  Downstairs, she broke out in hysterical laughter. She walked over to a corner store and got herself a Sunkist soda and fumbled in the duffle bag she had and got her lithium and Zoloft. She took her pills. She waited downstairs for the cops to arrive. They never did. Riley eventually walked out the building.

  “I’m sorry.” Rayne said to her.

  “Sorry for what, for not killing him?”

  Before Rayne could answer, Riley grabbed her younger sister by the arm. Rayne pushed away from her.

  “Rayne, what the fuck are you gonna do, beat me up too?”

  “No Riley,” Rayne said with moisture forming in her eyes. “I’m not gonna harm you, ever. What does it look like upstairs?”

  “It looks like you did what we should’ve done years ago.” Riley hugged her sister. “You’re coming with me.”

  “Where are we going?” Rayne asked.

  “To my hotel room,” Riley said taking a deep breath. “I rented a car.” She pointed towards it. “We should go shopping.”

  “I don’t have no money,” Rayne told her.

  “As long as I’m living Pee-Wee, you got whatever I have.”

  nine

  Riley was staying in a hotel near Times Square. The sisters went to 34th street in Manhattan and shopped at Macys. Rayne had never shopped before with her sister and they had a lot of fun together. The last time Rayne purchased this much clothes was after the Fatal Four cleaned out Hooey Jameson in St. Louis. Hooey was a huge score but he wasn’t their initial mark.

  It all went down back in 96. Sabrina, Rayne, Dora Dean and Bernadette were at the Tunnel nightclub. Sabrina’s favorite rap group, the Lox was performing. She loved the music and was enjoying the show. They were at the club scheming on Jadakiss, one of the group members.

  Jadakiss lyrics were about selling and how well he flossed. Rayne had this idea to start rushing rappers. She figured the Lox would be a good group to start with. They had discussed it with Trevor but he was reluctant to let the Fatal Four loose on the Lox. Sabrina argued against it because she had a crush on Jadakiss. The girls continued to debate the issue at the bar.

  “You do the inside work, Sabrina. That way you can fuck Kiss,” Rayne said.

 
; Sabrina nodded with a smile when she heard that. Then touched her face and felt the scar. “He ain’t gonna want me,” She said.

  “Look at your body, those legs and how tall you are girl. That nigga is gonna wanna get all up between them,” Rayne encouraged Sabrina.

  Bernadette nodded in agreement.

  “Fuck you bitch. You’re just saying that because you made me ugly,” Sabrina yelled.

  Rayne knew how sensitive Sabrina was. She loved Sabrina and a pang of guilt ripped through her. Sabrina was right. Rayne stared at the drink in her hand and remembered that she had not taken her meds. Her skin bristled beneath the tight dress she was wearing. Rayne was prepared to spit a razor if Sabrina got overzealous.

  “Calm down ladies,” Trevor rushed to settle them down. He knew that Sabrina and Rayne were both capable of killing each other.

  “I’ll do it,” Dora Dean said ending the discussion.

  Dora Dean looked deliciously good, they all knew Jadakiss would take one look at her and instantly want some. Trevor licked his lips at Dora. Dora gave him her best smile, showing perfect teeth. Sabrina leered at the both of them.

  “That settles that,” Bernadette said.

  Trevor took his eyes off of Dora’s flawless face and turned his attention to some dudes talking loudly, a couple of bar stools away. He could tell by their accents and the way they were dressed that they were from out of town. It was clear from their bling that they were holding dough. Trevor spotted a Rolex watch on one of them and the other pulled out a knot full of hundred dollar bills. Others eyed them but no one did a thing. Whoever the two out of town niggas were, they were serious, they were dealers, Trevor could tell.

  One of them cracked a joke and the other one grinned. Trevor saw a mouth full of diamonds encrusted in his gold fronts. Trevor turned to Dora Dean.

  “Forget about that Lox nigga. I think we found a better mark.”

  Dora patted her backside and pursed her lips, preparing herself. Before she could make her move, Trevor grabbed her.

  “Wait,” Trevor said.